I watched the small wheel turn slowly. The blinking lights and carnival tune calmed me. The Ferris wheel was an unusual nightlight, one given to me by Ash.  He had known that I was terrified of the dark, a secret that I trusted only him with. He gave me the nightlight a week before the car accident. It was the last gift he’d given me. It was almost a year since the accident and I’m not going to lie; after this long, I expected to feel better. But I didn’t. The pain still consumed me; the horrible ache in my chest was always there.

We were meant to enjoy senior year together, but I had to do it without him. Don’t get me wrong my friends were great, and if it wasn’t for them, I don’t think I would have been able to cope. But walking through the halls of the high school without Ash felt wrong. We had made so many plans. There were so many things we had wanted to do this year.

Ash and I became friends when we were in diapers. Our mothers had been old college friends and they got closer when they had been pregnant with us. So we spent a lot of time together when we were growing up. He had been my first friend as well as my first and only boyfriend. You see I’m not the beautiful girl next door type. I’m more of an average looking girl, brown hair, blue eyes and a pleasant smile but nothing that would turn guys’ heads. Ash, however called me beautiful on many occasions, but I always thought he’d been biased as he was my best friend.

I missed talking with him; he always seemed to know how to make me feel better. He wouldn’t be happy with me for skulking in my room all the time. I could almost hear him say, ‘Lou Lou, get your ass out of bed and go live life.’

With a sigh I got up and turned off the nightlight. I couldn’t hide in here all evening anyway; I had promised to go to a party with friends. I didn’t really want to go, but I knew that if I refused, it would make everyone worry. The doorbell chimed downstairs and within a few seconds my mum shouted up to me.

‘Lucinda, the girls are here,’

I grabbed my jacket off the bed and hurried out the door, closing it behind me. I was barely halfway across the landing when I heard a familiar tune come from my room. I went back to my door and opened it slowly, as I suspected the Ferris wheel nightlight was back on and I smiled.

‘See you later Ash’ I said to the empty room and as I closed the door again the nightlight also turned off.

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